In the opening chapter of his book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, Greg McKeown tells the story of leaving his wife and newborn baby at the hospital while he raced off to a business meeting. As much as the book is written to help others focus on the things in life that are truly important, it is also a lament and honest confession that he found himself neglecting the most important people and the most important responsibilities in his life. He was regrettably giving priority to people and projects that devalued what he cherished most, his family. The simple conclusion was that not everything in life has equal value and should be prioritized accordingly.
The great King Solomon came to a similar conclusion in the final words of the book of Ecclesiastes where he writes this:
“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Everything is meaningless!” [1]
Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether good or evil. [2]
Solomon reigned as the king of Israel for several decades. He had an abundance of wealth, and as king, he also possessed the power and discretion to do whatever his heart desired. The bible tells us that Solomon loved many foreign women [3] and that he had gathered for himself around 700 wives of royal birth and 300 concubines.[4] The bible also tells us that Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord.[5] Solomon was a man that did what he wanted, when he wanted, with whom he wanted, how he wanted, and where he wanted. Which is why the words we read above have such deep meaning. At the end of his life Solomon came to the conclusion that all the pursuits of life are meaningless, accept for one—“fear God and keep his commandments.” In essence, Solomon came to the conclusion that all things are not of equal importance. In a life well lived, there is little that truly matters.
Misplaced Priorities
Life is full of choices. You make choices every day about where you spend your time, your money, and your energy. How often would you say that you direct the resources of your life towards people and things that do not matter?
Do you feel the tension to neglect your family for other obligations?
How often do you get to the end of the day and realize you have not spent any time in prayer or reading the Bible?
How long has it been since you had an honest conversation about your spiritual life?
How often do you spend time with close friends?
When is the last time you answered questions for a friend that does not know the Lord?
How long has it been since you had a legitimate day of rest, where you did not feel the pressure to get something done?
How many times do you think of doing something that might bring you joy only to push it aside and never get around to it?
Have you neglected your health? Are you suffering now because you ignored earlier signs? Did you think, I’ll do it later?
An honest response to these questions might reveal that you have misplaced priorities in your life. The good news is that it’s not too late. You can start today and begin making different choices for your life. It will not be easy, and you will not be able to fix things over night, but you can make intentional choices to do things differently.
Identify What Is Important
It will be important for you to schedule some time to think and decide what is important during this season of your life. You cannot take aim until you have identified a target.
Ask, What are the things that will have an eternal purpose and reward?
As a follower of Christ, I assume that what is important to God is important to you. Take some time to identify what is true about God’s character, His heart for humanity, and what role you play.
Since your priorities will change as the circumstances of your life change, ask, How should your eternal values impact your specific circumstances right now? While some things have eternal value, they are not applied equally to all of our lives. Parents of young children will have different daily priorities than a 22-year-old single adult. A teenager will have different priorities than a 74-year-old retiree. But one thing is true for them and for you—few things truly matter. Deciding what matters is of the utmost importance.
Learning To Say No
You may think the hard thing is trying to figure out what the important stuff is, but I think the more difficult task is saying no to all of the unimportant stuff that tries to force its way into our lives. If only a few things are truly important, then it stands to reason that we will have to be extremely diligent to push against all of the unimportant things that are going to crowd in around us.
Once you decide on a priority or a course of action, you will have to defend that choice against everyone else who wants you to meet their expectations. You will have to be clear about your direction, clear about your boundaries, and relentless in saying no to anything that does not move you in the direction of your chosen priority.
[1] Ecclesiastes 12:8 (NIV)
[2] Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 (NIV)
[3] 1 Kings 11:1
[4] 1 Kings 11:3
[5] 1 Kings 11:6