But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
– Colossians 3:8 (NIV)
When you agree to a relationship with God, you agree to a lifelong pursuit of knowing Him. As He reveals Himself to you, you will soon realize that there are many ways you are lacking in character, deeds, words, and attitudes. When you realize that there is a gap between who you are and what God wants you to be, then you are asked to change. You cannot continue in a right relationship with God by continuing to be someone who lives, speaks, and thinks contrary to God’s will and character.
I know this is unpopular for some but disciplining yourself towards the truth will be a lifelong pursuit. You are a finite creature trying to understand an infinite God. You will never know all there is to know about God because of this limitation, which means you will be a work in progress until the day you die.
“To rid yourself” implies necessary work on your part. God does not do all the work. He sends the Holy Spirit so that you have a helper—a source of knowledge and strength—but you must cooperate and put in the work. You have to build new habits of speech, practice forgiveness, and choose to love. God isn’t going to do this for you.
If you feel stuck in your relationship with God, perhaps you are ignoring or missing what needs to be changed in you.